What Makes You Do Things For Others?

I really want to know. 

This is a constant question in my mind. I’m always thinking about it as I watch volunteers at NeighborLink take on projects. I think about it when I watch my wife cook meals for neighbors or bake cookies for a grieving co-worker. I think about it when I’m questioning whether I should offer to help a neighbor who’s working on their house or when I notice things around the neighborhood going undone. 

I wonder because it’s not natural or at least not natural all the time. 

We don’t naturally want to give others our stuff, our time, and bits of ourself, which is eventually what happens. We’ve seen our stuff abused, our time wasted, and our hearts hurt by others way too many times to naturally want to do things for others. 

So, what makes you do things for others? I know you do it and I eventually do it. It’s always the right thing to do, but it’s so hard to do. 

I think for me, along the way, I’ve realized that the poverty lies in me. As I’ve met countless people in difficult situations over the past few years, my abilities to solve the problem were futile. What I needed to learn was that my ability to solve someone else’s situation was not the right approach. The right approach was to come alongside someone and join them in solving the issue together. This poverty inside me that I’ve been connecting to helps me understand the complex environment in which people are in. It also gives me insight into ways I contribute to the broken environment. 

For me, this helps me realize that it’s not all up to me. The promise of relationship seems to make the loss of stuff, time, and the hurt that sometimes happens seem more palatable.