Do BETTER This Holiday Season

Christmas is coming and if you’ve been in any major retail establishment, it’s already been coming for weeks to them. It’s obvious that we are addicted to Christmas and gift getting/receiving for reasons both good and not so good. 

As we enter into November with two major holidays that remind us of what we’re thankful for and provides prospective for our need to be generous, I want to challenge us to consider how our generosity can be directed in sustainable, developing directions.  

This post is part 1 of a multi part series on how to think about and DO BETTER this Holiday season. 

Christmas Gift Giving Programs

Have you ever participated in a gift giving program through your local church, the Salvation Army, or any other organization? Often times, these programs have good intentions, but can do more harm than good if we’re not thinking through the implications. Good programs require a strategic plan that involves critical thinking about all the steps. 

Think about the last time you pulled a mitten off a tree or signed up for a gift giving program through a local charity. Now think about your shopping process. Did the mitten or the charity program give you specifics on what the recipient would have wanted or did it just give you a age range and size range leaving you to be Santa? Do you even know whether the kid you gave a gift to received it, liked it, wanted to wear it, played with it, etc.? Does it matter?

Have you ever thought about the parents in the situation? Do you think their dignity gets pushed aside when the people with the resources show up at their door with a bag full of gifts for their kids or they show up at the organization and get a pre-packed bag of gifts?

I’ve participated in various programs in the past and there is nothing more uncomfortable than showing up at someone’s door as a white, middle-class male with a bunch of friends with a bag of gifts from an incarcerated family member or for some other reason. I am not Santa, I’m not their parent, and I don’t want to continue fueling the perspective of the rich people like to do nice things for us only at Christmas. I also don’t like the fact that the parent with the kids don’t get to control what that kid gets and when. 

I do think we need to be generous during these times, but I think there are better ways to do it and that actually preserve dignity and elements of development for low income families. So, what if we all took a step back and decided to do things differently. 

Here is a great example of an alternative. 

It’s called Pride For Parents - Atlanta, GA

"Pride for Parents is an annual toy and gift sale designed to benefit hard working families in the South Atlanta neighborhood and the communities surrounding it. Through donations of new and gently used toys and gifts, we offer quality merchandise at affordable prices to the families of South Atlanta."

This is one of the ministries of a community development organization in South Atlanta called, Focused Community Strategies (FCS). 

As you can see, they still rely on generous donations, but create a store with the goods to give the parents an opportunity to buy what they want and can for their kids within the budget they have. Being able to buy gifts for your kids and family members holds tremendous power in that family’s dynamic. They choose how much they can spend and then what gifts they want.

Just think if the roles were suddenly reversed. Would you want someone to show up with a bag of gifts or would you want to participate in this type of model? I know I would want to maintain the power of choice. 

Fellowship Missionary Church in Fort Wayne has been doing this model for the past few years as well as doing some of the other models as well, like Angel Tree. It takes more coordinating work and a call to people to give more than just gifts, but it’s worth pursuing. 

Please do your homework this year and contribute to the organizations/programs that are doing their best to give the parents the ability to provide for Christmas this year. Also, if you’re in charge or volunteering in a program like this, do what you can to consider the possible harmful impact your program may be having. 

Want a good book to read? Read When Helping Hurts to help understand the delicate balance of charitable efforts.