The Deeper It Goes
Each time I put myself into a transformational experience that requires more than I can give or more than I know how to do it gets harder. Every time time I put myself in places that I am uncomfortable with to serve it gets harder.
The roofing project that I posted last week was really difficult. It felt like the project was dumped on my plate to figure out how to get done. I had to go to people that I feel like are already giving more to NLFW than they can for help in getting this project done. Out of all the volunteers that showed, including myself, only one of us really knew what to do. The roof was a really steep pitch. The recipients were great and deserving, but their story was difficult.
At about 3pm, it was just Ryan and I left at this house with a lot left to do. All the ground work was done early and everyone that wanted to stick around and help felt extremely unsafe on top of the roof and left. I don’t blame them, I wanted to leave.
It was at that time, that I had a God moment. I’m sitting on the peak of this roof frozen because I’ve already slipped a few times and was now scared. I’m sitting there watching Ryan work wishing I could go down to the edge of the roof to help and feeling terrible that I couldn’t.
I’m sitting there realizing that what I was learning was that ever step in faith towards God, the deeper He’s calling me to go and the helpless I get. Every step forward at NLFW to meeting the needs of the most vulnerable, the more impossible it seems to be able to meet those needs on my own.
It seems as if there’s never enough money, there’s never enough time, there’s never enough volunteers, there’s never enough commitment to seeing things through to the end.
Every step we take towards giving ourselves to following Christ and being more created in His image, it requires us to be broken and live in the tension of who are becoming.
Every step towards transformation is a painful process of us being redeemed in the Spirit of God. I’ll be honest, it’s not much fun right now but I know I need it.
